I have not knowingly eaten bacon in over 25 years, but I might be convinced to worship at the United Church of Bacon. Why? Well, the sensibility of the church’s teachings brought smiles to me at the same time as making sense. According to the church’s about page,
The United Church of Bacon holds to a list of 9 Bacon Commandments. We tried to make it 10, but ran out of space on the tablets and didn’t want to start over.
Our mission is:
- We oppose supernatural claims. We are skeptics and atheists. In our religion, we doubt religion.
- We fight discrimination. Atheists are not inferior and should not be hated and marginalized.
- We raise money for charity
- We perform legal weddings, always for free. How joyful!
- We expose religious privileges as silly by claiming the same rights for Bacon.
- We praise Bacon! If you don’t like pigs, praise Vegetarian Bacon or Turkey Bacon.
In the accompanying YouTube video, the church provides suggestions about the nearly miraculous powers of bacon. Prepare to be…well…be chuckling.
I’m adding UCB to the sidebar.